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Jul. 11th, 2007

...and then she realized

I will pull the trigger

To kill the pain, to kill me away.  To take me away.  To make me stay.  To flow with you.  To stay true.  To hold me close.  To scare away the ghosts.  To breathe in my ear.  To make sure that you are always near.  To drown in your love.  

I will pull the trigger.

Put the bullet through my pride.  To kill me when I try to hide.  Put the bullet through my fear.  To keep all that I hold near.  Put the bullet through my walls.  To kill me when hatred calls.  

I will pull the trigger.

Hold me close tonight.  Listen as I scream my fright.  Hold me.  I want to cry so bad, as my heart cracks open and pours out the crimson blood on the floor.  I only want to be close to you.  

I will pull the trigger.

I need to heal, so pull the trigger to kill...all that I was.  Not what I am...what I was.  

Hold me close tonight.  Listen as I scream my fright.  Hold me.  I want to be near so bad, as my heart cracks open and pours out the violet blood that has made us one.  I only want to love you.

I will pull the trigger.

And you will be the hand that stops the bullet.

Jul. 3rd, 2007


just finished

Worked hard today.  Yeah.  And I miss you, John.  My muscles hurt, my heart hurts even more.  I think I killed my box.  I've posted on a linux forum, so hopefully someone will have an answer for me.  

I get the Jeep tomorrow!  Yay!  Man, it will be nice to drive by myself.  It'll be fun, too!  I am so tired.   I miss John so much.  So, so much.  There is nothing that can honestly say how much I miss him.  It hurts me to be so close to him, yet so far away.  I just miss him.  

I miss you.

Jun. 14th, 2007

angel of death

Forever Falling

"AAAAHHH!"  Raquel swept wide with her sword, cutting deep into the enemies that surrounded her.  She would not be defeated.  Her eyes burned crimson red.  Her heart pounded in her chest.  She wanted to win and this time she would.  The demons barred their yellow teeth at her, but she was not phased.  She never would be.  Her anger and frustration fueled her fight.  As Niad might say, she was fighting for all of the wrong reasons.  She was sick.  Sick of being frustrated.  Sick of being confused, never knowing what to do with herself.  She wanted answers.  She wanted to know why.  She wanted to know why she kept fighting this seemingly endless battle.  

Later, the exhausted warrior lay in the darkness.  She had ended up in a heap on the floor, still covered in blood and filth.  She had no strength to clean herself up.  The house, her room, was ablsolutely quiet.  Above her, a little window remained open, letting in a gentle breeze.  The fresh air felt soothing to her body.  She had a few wounds.  A small cut on her upper arm, and two on her calves.  She would get to cleaning them up soon enough.  Right now, she just wanted to be alone in her thoughts.  She wanted no sound.  She only wanted an explanation to the questions that she knew no one would ever be able to answer.  Some times she wondered if Father even cared.  She fought one demon after another and still never found the answers she sought.  What was strength when you are so empty?  What is a smile when you feel so battered?  What is a kind word when you know that you will only spout off indecencies.  

I need a heart.

She was hardened.  Probably, the tougest warrior in all of the hosts.  Yet, she felt far from being hard.  She felt scared as she lay curled up in a tight ball on her cold hard floor.  She lived to kill.  And she knew that only Father knew her true motives.  She had asked Father once why He did not force her motives to be different.  But His answer had been one of truth, and one that she did not like.  "You have a free will, my daughter.  You have to want the right motives."  Raquel had turned away, feeling some what disgusted.  She was tired of this.  She wanted for once not to be able to feel.  She didn't want to feel the betrayal.  She didn't want to feel the desire for vegence.  She didn't want the feeling to run away from everything and everyone.  She wanted to disappear from the world.  She wanted to cry out.  She wanted to scream.  All of those words of anger that were pent up inside of her.  She just wanted to let it all out.  

I need a heart that carries on through the pain when the world starts collapsing again.  

She clenched her fist, her teeth.  She braced herself for the onset of screams.  But nothing came out.  She couldn't do it.  To let it out...would be the manifestion of feelings that she did not want to face.  To let it out...would make her weak.  

Just let me sleep 

Jun. 12th, 2007

...and then she realized

My struggle: a Prelude

My struggle...fought with words of caustic passion...
My fight...fought with icy swords of hate and rebellion....
My scream...sounded through the trumpets of a ceaseless wind...
My tears....flowing with the river's silence...

I fight my fight with words in my mind.  I fight the temptations with verses...simple, yet powerful in utterance.  I whisper my prayers in solitude and in turmoil.  I fight my mind...I fight it with logic, with what little bit of reason that I can grasp.  Some would call me strong.  Some would only call me unlucky.  I try not to care about what they think.  I learned long ago that I can not worry about them, for they will always lie and deceive to get their way.  I mean the humans when I say "they" or "them."  I know...I should not be so quick to judge or to categorize, but did I not say that this was my fight?  A fight with the mind?  So, leave me to delusions.  While, yes, I am an AS2, I am still human, and prone to many of their weaknesses.  I struggled with my weakness, the insecurity...It got me into a good deal of trouble.  It started out innocently enough...a fellow took me in.  But with all fellow's and young girls...well, I do not need to tell you what happened after that.  His name is Luce.  I say "is" and not "was" because in many ways, he is still a large part of my life.  However, not at all in the way that I would ever want.  I considered myself quite lucky at the time, to be taken in by what seemed to be a nice young men.  He had lots of other girls, too, and lots of other boys my age.  Why he singled me out, I will probably never know.  But, he took an odd fancy to me.  I basically became his "pet," or "slave" as I look back upon it now...I spiraled down into a life full of addictions, lusts, and horrific habits.  To make a very long, harsh story short, it was my little sister, Niad, and our posse that found me and plucked me out in the nick of time.  Well, let us give credit where credit is due.  It was actually Father's doing.  The very being that I swore to hate for the rest of my days.  It was nothing that He had done, but rather I blamed Him for the death of my beloved parents.  I later came to terms with the fact that it was their own choice that was their death.  After coming to this realization, I was able to learn Father once again.  It was not hard to do.  Father is generous to His many children.  He loves us...loves us so much. 

Now, my purpose is bringing souls back to Father.  While I may hold a very personal grudge against Luce, I think that most of us do.  We will do whatever it takes to defeat the Demon Lord.  I fight for my Father, my God, my Savior.  It is a hard fight.  Yes, we may fight with guns and swords, daggers and switchblades.  But the fight is much deeper than that.  The fight is about saving lives.  It is about saving others from the Hell that was my life.  Sometimes, the mental strain can seem almost too much.  But I will not give up.  I am a fighter.  This struggle, this earthly struggle, is nothing to me.  My Father has given me the adequate weapons and tools to win the battle.  I am a warrior, a proud AS2 of the Heavenly Hosts.  I am Raquel and this is my story...

Jun. 7th, 2007

the one

Broken deliverance

"ZANE!  ZANE!"  Raquel shouted into the darkness, but heard nothing...

Zane lay curled up in a corner of the alley, bruised, bones broken in several places.  How could he face Raquel?  How could he?  Gritting his teeth, Zane lifted his gun and shot into the air.

Raquel heard the gun shot and saw the burst of light.  Breaking into a desperate run, she pounded the six blocks to where Zane had been attacked.  Raquel turned down the alley, crashing to the ground where Zane lay under the street lamp. 

"Zane!"  Tears filled her eyes at the sight of her beloved crumpled into a helpless heap.  Zane looked worse than he felt.  His face had several purple welts on it.  His arms covered in blood and several deep gashes.  She could tell by his labored breathing that his lungs had been bruised.  It was likely that he also had some broken ribs.  His pants were torn on the right leg, revealing a gash that ran from his kneecap to the back of his middle calf muscle.  "Zane, what happened?"

Raquel fell to her knees beside Zane, cradling him in her arms.  He looked up at Raquel, his own eyes full of tears, "I..." he choked, "I don't know.  We got ambushed...and..."

Raquel had begun to rip Zane's shirt off to expose any other wounds that might be more severe than what she saw on the outside.  She stopped, "Wait, where's Niad?"

Zane hung his head,  "There were so many.  I had no cover.  I'm...I'm..."  He hid his face from Raquel and wept.

"Darn it, Zane, WHERE'S NIAD?"  

Zane only shook his head, unable to tell Raquel what had happened.  He still could not believe what had happened.

Raquel stood up slowly, her eyes wide in disbelief.  Anger began to wash over her.  "No!  That filthy hell cat!" she screamed.  She knelt again beside Zane, "How many were there?"

Zane thought for an agonizing moment, clenching his teeth, "I...think...it was thirty.  There were only...unh...five to start with...but then...ahh...they started coming out of nowhere."

Raquel grabbed for her cell phone and dialed Keira's number.  

Zane rolled onto his stomach, clutching at his chest, breathing hard.  "Help me."

Raquel leaned over him, rubbing his back gently.  "You're going to be fine, love."  She was trying to stay calm, but on the inside-


"Keira!  I need you and Nathan NOW in the alley behind the abandoned warehouse!"

"Should I bring back ups?"

"No!  Just hurry!  Bring the car."  Raquel threw the phone down.  Zane's body was beginning to go into shock.  His sweat was cold and his breathing was irregular.  Raquel had never encountered this before.  Having no idea what to do, she drug Zane up into her lap, wrapping her arms tightly around him to try to keep him warm.  "Stay awake, Zane!  C'mon, baby, stay awake for me."

"I'm sorry, Raq.  I'm sorry."  came his hoarse whisper.

"Shh..baby, there was nothing you could have done.  I love you, okay?  I'm not mad, okay?  I love you.  Everything is going to be fine."

Zane's body was racked with pain.  He gritted his teeth, but the pain was too much.  

Raquel found herself becoming impatient.  C'mon, Nathan, hurry up.  Please, Jesus, help us.

The squeal of tires brought Raquel out of her prayers.  Keira jumped out, running to Raquel's side, Nathan soon following behind.  Zane was trying desperately to keep himself conscience, but he could feel his mind slipping away from him.  Keira knelt beside them, while Nathan stood over to keep watch, praying silently for his best friend.  Raquel grabbed for Zane's bloody hand, letting him squeeze it hard, "I'm not going anywhere, Zane, and neither are you!  Hang in there, baby!  I love you."

Zane nodded slowly.  "I love you, too, Raquel.  I love you with all of my heart."  He felt so weak, but he knew that he could not give up now.  Raquel leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips.  He smiled.  That was all of the strength that he needed.  

Keira laid delicate fingers over Zane's chest, praying softly.  Raquel followed suit in her prayer language.  Within a few minutes, Zane's face began to relax as the pain began to lessen under Keira's warm hands.  Another one of Keira's many gifts was that of Faith, which produced Healing...all under the blood of Jesus.  Zane felt his pulse grow stronger, felt his lungs relax.  He took in a deep breath.  His wounds were still bleeding, but at least he knew that the life threatening part was over.  "I'm okay,"  he whispered.  Raquel's tears left her eyes unfettered.  He reached up and kissed Raquel.  "You and Keira need to go alert the hosts that Niad has been...They need to know right away.  We cannot afford to...not have Niad with us right now."

Nathan stepped over to the group, reaching out and pulling Zane slowly to his feet.  Raquel supported Zane and they all walked slowly to the car.  

The three stretched Zane out in the back seat.  Raquel climbed in, leaning over Zane, "Please, let's send Keira and Nathan.  I want to be with you.  I want to take care of you."  Her eyes were full of concern and tears.  Zane could not refuse her, but...what if Luce went to the lake in search of Raquel, who was now more vunerable than ever.  Keira was not a warrior and although Nathan was well trained, the group did yet have enough prayer cover to defeat the Demon Lord and his mercenaries.

He touched Raquel's face, "Baby, I want you to be safe.  You will be safe in the City.  Please don't be stubborn about this."

Raquel scrunched her face up in defiance.

Chuckling, Zane took a strand of her curls and kissed them, "You are so cute when you're stubborn, though."

Nathan poked his face through the front window, "Raquel, listen to Zane.  He's right, it's way to dangerous for you to be here right now.  Go with Keira.  I may not be much of a nurse, but I think I can handle him."  

Zane looked up at Raquel.  She knew that she could not disobey him.  She gave a sigh, "Okay, Keira and I will go.  We need to go now."

"Thank you, honey.  I will rest better knowing that you are safe, okay?  I will be fine."

Raq nodded.  She kissed him once more, feeling the love surge through his body and out of his lips.  Pulling herself away, she found herself dizzy from his passion.  "I love you, Zane."

"I love you, too, Raq.  Take care, my jewel."

Raquel climbed out, slamming the door shut, and stepping away.  

Nathan rested a hand on her shoulder, "I'll take care of him, I promise."

"You'd better, or I'll kick your butt!"  She growled.

Keira giggled. 

Nathan shot a loving look towards Keira.  "Could you give us a minute, Raquel?"

"Uhh...yeah...sure,"  she replied, feeling a little awkward.  She climbed back into the front seat.  She didn't mind.  It meant a little extra time with Zane, anyways.

Jun. 6th, 2007

the healing of a broken angel

The Beginning of the End

Raquel was dizzy, again.  Picking up the pieces of the broken glass, she quickly pushed the rest of the shattered mirror under her dresser.  She could not understand.  It seemed as though her hands could not grip anything.  And these dizzy spells...what was it?   She stayed crouching on the floor for a moment...The tapping, it was starting...

Tap....tap....tap...tap, tap, tap...

Raquel gave her head a violent shake.  What the heck was going on?  She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.  Shaking, she lifted herself from the floor, attempting to stand...But the tapping...it was getting louder.

Tap...tap...tap...tap...tap, tap, tap, tap...

"Stop it!  Shut up, Luce!  Get out of my head!"

Raquel's desperate cries brought Niad running into the room.  Niad ran to her sister's side and supported her from the side, immediately beginning to pray.  By this point, Raquel was becoming terrified by the constant tapping in her brain.  "Jesus, help me, please."  The tapping become louder.  "NO!  Jesus!"

Tap...You know...Tap...That I will always be...Tap...in the back...Tap...of your memory...

Raquel shoved Niad away, screaming, tearing at her hair. She made for the large mirror hanging on the wall.  Niad lunged for her.  Raquel, screaming, hit Niad hard on the shoulder, throwing Niad off balance and sending her to the floor.  Raquel had no control over herself.  She only wanted the tapping, the voices, to stop.  "Make it stop!  Shut-up.  Jesus, help me." 

Like that, the tapping stopped.  Overcome with exhaustion, Raquel collapsed on the ground.  Niad knelt beside her sister, trying desperately to comfort Raquel.  Zane burst into the room.  Niad looked up at him with relief in her eyes.  "Zane!  Help me, she had another attack."

Zane crossed to Raquel's side, "It's Luce.  He tried to tap into me, too."  Putting his arms around Raquel, he began to wipe her cheeks dry.  "Raq, baby, talk to me."

Raquel shook her head, still whimpering like a baby.  "Tell him to go away.  Please.  Make it stop.  Why?  Why is this happening?"  

Only Zane knew fully what Raquel was going through.  Ever since Luce had figured out how to tap into Zane's mind, he had experienced the same peircing tapping and Luce's eery voice.  The first time it had ever happened to him, Zane had layed on the floor for hours in agony.  When he went to Father about it, Father had told him that there was only one way to stop it:  Saying the name of Jesus.  Of course, Zane had thought, why didn't I think of that?  But was it not human nature to try and solve all problems in his own strength first?  The next time it had happened, Zane was prepared.  But, for some reason, Luce seemed to have a stronger hold on Raquel.  Maybe it was her previous association with him.  Her first attack had been almost deadly.  Zane had found her on the bathroom floor, all glass objects broken, her fists bloody and torn.  It had been almost two weeks since that first attack, and four since Luce had ambushed them on the street, vowing to win Raquel back into his filthy fold.  Zane was determined, though.  Even if it meant his death, Luce would never touch Raquel again.  Raquel's attacks were becoming more frequent, occuring every three or four days.  Zane wished he could put a stop to it, but it was a fight that only Raquel could win.  

Raquel collapsed into Zane's arms, weeping like a frightened child.  She was exhausted.  But it was not the mental fights she was having with Luce that was tearing her apart.  Yes, they were exhausting.   It was the fight that she knew was coming.  She knew Luce.  She knew him better than anyone else could or would ever want to know.  She knew that this was the beginning of the battle to come.  She was terrified.  Absolustely terrified.  

"Please...help me be strong...please help me fight."

Zane held on to her tighter.  "Be strong.  I'm here, and I'm not leaving you...Ever."

He loves me

Home soon

What was that?  Going home?  Really?  Yes, I'm going home.  Not that I absolutely abhor California, but I think "Hate"  pretty well classifies my strong feelings against this state of insanity.  I miss my Prince John.  I cannot wait to see him!  Yay!  I'm excited!

May. 30th, 2007


For love and life

  She knew that it was something that she needed...ah...but...what?  Always a question that she was asking, she only wished that she could get an answer for the fear that was building up inside of her.  She rolled over to face the dark window that poured out a putrid sickness before her.  She grabbed the gun from her nightstand and silently slipped out of the house...a walk...that was what she needed.  She knew that it was dangerous, but nothing scared her.  Darkness was her disguise, and at times, she felt, her only friend.  Stepping out into the dark street, she stuck the automatic into her belt and continued on her way.  She would take a simple walk, just enough to clear her screaming mind...Two blocks later, her mind was still in an uproar.  She broke out into a desperate run...she had to get rid of this feeling.  What was going on?  How come she could not get out of this confusion?  She needed time she knew, but right now, time was her enemy.  

She turned into a dark alley.  Maybe complete darkness would help...She slowed, feeling along the wall...this is ridiculous...feeling along like a scared rat...Taking her hand from the wall, she allowed herself to wander away from it's hard security.  The moon would be her guide.  She could see its dim light though the brick cracks.  She stopped...what was that?  She drew her gun and spun around, narrowing her eyes to focus.  She heard nothing...She kicked at the ground, to let whoever was there know that she knew...Nothing.  She took another step...."Maybe this wasn't-"  She felt the cold wind of a breath behind her.  She spun, aiming her gun, ready to fire.  A deep voice came out of the darkness, "Raquel?"  Raquel relaxed, rolling her eyes and slipping the gun back into its holster.  It was only Zane.  "Zane...why must you always follow me?"  

Zane stepped out of the shadows and kicked sheepishly.  "I don't want you to get hurt.  You know its dangerous."  

Raquel scoffed, "Thanks for the concern, Zane, but I can handle myself."

Zane felt a little hurt by her sudden hostility.  "Look, Raquel, I know that you're going through a lot, you know, losing Harley and all, but you and I...we were...I just...I love you, and I don't want to lose you."

Her heart was pricked, and she could feel herself bleeding on the inside.  Why Harley?  Why did he have to bring back Harley?  Why couldn't everyone just leave her alone?  "Zane, I know that you want to help, but this something that I need to figure out myself."

"Raquel,"  he said softly, "You need me right now...Let me be there for you.  You know that you cannot do this on your own."  

Raquel looked away.  This was not her way.  She had to be tough for herself.  She had to prove to herself that she could get herself through anything.  

Zane knew better than to let her continue on with this. That had been his first mistake:  listening to Keira and not going after Raquel when she needed him the most.  He was not going to let that happen again. Grabbing her hand, he led her out of the alley and into the street lights.  "Listen to me Raquel, I will not let you run away from your team because you supposedly have things to work out with yourself.  You know just as well as I do that you are ust running from the situation!  Harley would not want this!  Let me help you, please."

Steeling herself from the pain, Raquel wrenched herself away from Zane's grasp.  But Zane would not take no for an answer.  Reaching out, he grabbed her by the shoulders, "Raquel, wake up!  You're killing yourself and the rest of us...You're killing me!  I love you!  Are you hearing me:  I love you!"

Raquel looked up with startled eyes at her best friend.  It was coming back.  It was like she was awakening from a dream:  the beach, the wind, the smell of the ocean, Zane's fingers running through her hair...his body close to her's...his right hand behind her neck and his left around her waist...his lips...against hers...his voice, whispering, "I love you, Raquel."  She had just lost her brother, to her own hand.  She had been broken by that, and he had been there for her.  Her best friend then, her best friend now.  How could she ignore him anymore?  She knew she was hurting him, every time she had pushed him away since Harley's recent death.  But she had sworn...sworn...never to love again.  But...her emotions were running crazy.  His eyes were trained upon her.  She could see it...he loved her so much.  She knew that she needed him.  It was as if a fire was burning in his eyes.  A fire of passion, love...friendship.  

Zane could see that she had fallen into that chasm.  He tried again, "Raquel, please, I love you."  

Overcome, she realized that she could no longer resist.  His strong scent filled her nostrils.  His words pierced into her soul...I love you...She closed her eyes.  Her body began to relax.  Zane brought his hands up and held her face in them.  He was waiting...he had been waiting for so long.  He could have her so easily.  He could kiss her right now so easily.  But that was not what he wanted.  He wanted her to surrender first.  He wanted her to realize that she loved him, too.  He knew that she did.  He had felt it that first night they had kissed.  He felt it when Raquel had receieved the letter from Harley...the look that had said, "Zane, please, don't leave me."  Maybe that had been his mistake.  He realized now that he should have not listened to Keira and let Raquel run off by herself.  But now was his chance to redeem himself...and he would wait until she was ready to catch her...

Raquel felt it again, it was the wind of his soul washing over her.  She felt herself giving in.  Was she ready?  She looked back into those crystal blue eyes...he was just waiting....struggling, but waiting.  She tensed once more, but he held on even tighter.  "Okay...okay...I...I...Zane...I do need you...help me."  Like a weak newborn filly, she collapsed into his arms...like she always did.  Zane held her tightly...stroking her hair.  It felt so natural, like he was made to hold her, and only her.  He wanted to hold her forever, to be her strength, to be her energy, to be her everything.

    Then, she said the words he had waited so long to hear, "Zane, I won't hide from you anymore...I love you, too."

His whole world came together at that moment.  Everything that he had ever desired manifested at that moment.  He held her tighter than ever, listening to her quiet sobs.  Tears stung his own eyes as he began to repeat the words over and over again, "I love you.  I love you.  I love you."

She pulled back gently so that she could look back into his eyes.  "I'm sorry I made you wait for so long."  Zane could not help but smile as he took a strand of her hair in his hands..."I would have waited a hundred years for you.  Do you wanna walk for a minute?"

She nodded as he took her hand in his hand and led her on.  He was on cloud nine.  He, Zane Mit, was holding Raquel's hand!  He felt himself stand up straighter, feeling like he was protecting the most treasured jewel on earth!  And why not?  She was the most valuable thing on earth.  

Her gentle voice broke into his thoughts, "Zane?"


"You know that I've always loved you?"

He stopped and turned to her, "I had hoped so.  I couldn't be sure, but I prayed that you did."  

"You know that I was just trying to protect myself...pushing you away?"

"I thought maybe that was why, but I'm not real good with women's psychology.  I failed that class!"

They laughed and continued walking.



"Do you ever think about that night...you know, when you first kissed me?"

"Yeah...actually, I do."

Raquel was silent for a moment.  "Zane?"

This time Zane stopped and turned her towards himself, grabbing her face in his hands and looking boldly into her eyes.  "Tell me again, Raquel, tell me that you love me."

Her hands went up to his and she held them there,  "I do, I love you, Zane."

"I've waited all my life...all of it, to hear you say that to me.  I love you, Raquel.  I would have waited forever to hear you say that to me.  No matter what you go through, I am your best friend, and I always will be.  When you need to cry, scream, vent, laugh, love, whatever, I promise you, I will never leave you.  Even if you never returned my love for you.  I love you, Raquel."

Raquel smiled for what felt like the first time.  "I can't help but love you.  You're so good to me...How could I not love you?"

Zane smiled back...his heart pounding.  His breath came fast.  Was she ready?  He leaned over and kissed her forhead carefully.  She was so fragile.  She didn't even know how fragile she really was.  He wanted to take care her of her so much.  Gently, he wrapped his arms around her.  It was all she needed, was for someone to love her like this. 

May. 24th, 2007

the one




I don't want to be here anymore.  I want this to be over...  I don't care...i don't want this...i'm sick of this...i'm sick...okay?  I'M SICK and I just want OUT!   I want to go back home!


May. 23rd, 2007

fire love

Tell me before I go, you're infected with me...



There is a girl...eyes full of tears...yes, the pain...it is...unbearable.  But it dulls in comparison to the pain that is in her soul.  She wants her Prince...she needs him...more than anything.  

The Princess rolls to lie on her back and stare up at the ceiling.  She misses him so.  Restless, she rises and crosses to the window.  Outside, the stars are shimmering and dancing.  The moonlight reflects off the crystal waters as the wind plays with the grass.  But the world is void of beauty if he is not there to hold her.  She sighs, continuing to stare out the window at what seems to her a black and voidless night.  How much longer?  How much longer?  Tell me...how long?


She knew that there was nothing that she could do right now


But press through.  She just needs to press through.  I want you...I need you...


I need to run to you...run with all that I have until I am back in your arms.  I love you so much.  I will be home soon, love.






My prince...my heart, my home...I will be home soon.  No matter what the obstacles are, I will be home...count on it...Your Princess will go mute screaming your name...until she is back in your arms...


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