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My struggle: a Prelude

My struggle...fought with words of caustic passion...
My fight...fought with icy swords of hate and rebellion....
My scream...sounded through the trumpets of a ceaseless wind...
My tears....flowing with the river's silence...


I fight my fight with words in my mind.  I fight the temptations with verses...simple, yet powerful in utterance.  I whisper my prayers in solitude and in turmoil.  I fight my mind...I fight it with logic, with what little bit of reason that I can grasp.  Some would call me strong.  Some would only call me unlucky.  I try not to care about what they think.  I learned long ago that I can not worry about them, for they will always lie and deceive to get their way.  I mean the humans when I say "they" or "them."  I know...I should not be so quick to judge or to categorize, but did I not say that this was my fight?  A fight with the mind?  So, leave me to delusions.  While, yes, I am an AS2, I am still human, and prone to many of their weaknesses.  I struggled with my weakness, the insecurity...It got me into a good deal of trouble.  It started out innocently enough...a fellow took me in.  But with all fellow's and young girls...well, I do not need to tell you what happened after that.  His name is Luce.  I say "is" and not "was" because in many ways, he is still a large part of my life.  However, not at all in the way that I would ever want.  I considered myself quite lucky at the time, to be taken in by what seemed to be a nice young men.  He had lots of other girls, too, and lots of other boys my age.  Why he singled me out, I will probably never know.  But, he took an odd fancy to me.  I basically became his "pet," or "slave" as I look back upon it now...I spiraled down into a life full of addictions, lusts, and horrific habits.  To make a very long, harsh story short, it was my little sister, Niad, and our posse that found me and plucked me out in the nick of time.  Well, let us give credit where credit is due.  It was actually Father's doing.  The very being that I swore to hate for the rest of my days.  It was nothing that He had done, but rather I blamed Him for the death of my beloved parents.  I later came to terms with the fact that it was their own choice that was their death.  After coming to this realization, I was able to learn Father once again.  It was not hard to do.  Father is generous to His many children.  He loves us...loves us so much. 

Now, my purpose is bringing souls back to Father.  While I may hold a very personal grudge against Luce, I think that most of us do.  We will do whatever it takes to defeat the Demon Lord.  I fight for my Father, my God, my Savior.  It is a hard fight.  Yes, we may fight with guns and swords, daggers and switchblades.  But the fight is much deeper than that.  The fight is about saving lives.  It is about saving others from the Hell that was my life.  Sometimes, the mental strain can seem almost too much.  But I will not give up.  I am a fighter.  This struggle, this earthly struggle, is nothing to me.  My Father has given me the adequate weapons and tools to win the battle.  I am a warrior, a proud AS2 of the Heavenly Hosts.  I am Raquel and this is my story...

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